Day: April 1, 2015

Neville Thompster looks forward to Easter every year, and it’s not because of chocolate. “Ever since I’ve been knee-high to a grasshopper, I’ve never been able to get enough of hot cross buns” said Mr Thomster. Available only in the run up to Easter, he looks forward to a couple of weeks of bliss when he can munch on the spiced fruit buns. Now Mr Thompster is calling on consumer protection laws to be tightened after disaster struck at a recent trip to the supermarket. “I was in a hurry, I admit. I grabbed a pack of hot cross buns…

It is rumoured that India’s Taj Mahal committee of management are preparing to serve the shire with a “cease and desist” notice over the shire’s touted plans to build a replica of the famous Taj Mahal on the peninsula. First touted in The News (“$56m for shire ‘Taj Mahal’” – 24th February 2015), the article stated that the shire were looking at a number of options for housing shire staff into the future, including a “56 million dollar ‘Taj Mahal’ option”. It is believed that the write contains the following demands: That the shire cease and desist from building the…

Furious opposition is being mounted to the rumour that the Formula One Grand Prix is leaving Albert Park, and heading to Mornington. The news surfaced over the last 48 hours after it is believed that Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone was seen in Mornington during the Melbourne Grand Prix weekend. “I’m pretty sure it was him”, said local real estate agent Xavier Thurmiester. “He had an ice cream pizza at DOC before heading off in the direction of Beaches to dance the night away. It is believed that local property developer and teeth whitening proponent, Nigel Necker, is behind the…